Thursday, December 10, 2009

Thankful Thursday

My people know my voice

John 10:27-28 "My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me; and I give eternal life to them, and they will never perish; and no one will snatch them out of My hand."

I’m so very thankful this morning for Christ. For the sacrifice he made for me on that day he went to the cross. He would have gone even if ONLY FOR ME!

I have questioned at times if I was truly saved. Why can’t I hear his voice. Why doesn’t he just come down and speak verbally? The older I get the more I realize and notice that “still small voice” within my spirit. He speaks gently.
Holly – don’t say that. Don’t go there or better yet. Look here. See my need here.

Yes – I have also discovered that my heart can deceive me so easily if I allow my flesh and my emotions to control me. My heart always wants its way even when God is trying to direct me in another path. Recently I just knew that I knew what God’s perfect plan was. Where he wanted me – even what church he needed me to serve.
I set out on the adventure to FOLLOW CHRIST WHEREVER HE WOULD LEAD ME.. Knowing and trusting that he was going before me and preparing the way.

Little did I know that he was in fact doing that very thing. BUT OH – the outcome was so very very different than my little miracle I had worked up in my heart. In the end, the true miracle was finding God’s love meeting me – holding me – loving me through a hard and painful experience. His love was my miracle. Assuring me that he loved me and that he has an amazing and perfect plan for my life – regardless of what I do to mess it up….lol

Isn’t this the truth in the end:
Jeremiah 29:11-12 “For I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you, says the Lord, thoughts and plans for welfare and peace and not for evil, to give you hope in your final outcome. Then you will call upon Me, and you will come and pray to Me, and I will hear and heed you.”

Friday, December 4, 2009

Reconciliation With God

2 Corinthians 5:19
that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation.

Isn't that a wonderful word? Reconciled. To think that the God of Heaven
wants reconciliation with a sinful people. People that have abandoned his word, his commandments, his truths!

But yet he desired to forgive. Not to count our sins against us.. Because of Jesus Christ (crucified) we are able to be viewed as his children and loved. When I think of where I was - lost and no way to get to God by my own deeds and then
his amazing love that searched me out - called me - and reconciled me back to him....

I have to consider how do I forgive?
How do I seek reconciliation with fellow believers?

I pray that I become more and more like Christ. That I view all things through his heart. When I forgive....That I'm able to TRULY FORGIVE and let the offense go and give it over to God. When I work at a relationship and say with my mouth - we are reconciled....That we are one in the spirit again.

Today I say with all of my heart oh Lord:

Let the words of my mouth - the meditations of my heart - be acceptable in thy sight oh Lord my strength and my redeemer.......

May your world be filled with forgiveness and reconciliation of broken relationships and hearts...

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Thankful Thursday
Today I am so very thankful for the "awe" moments in life. For months I have
been standing in faith and waiting on the Lord. Waiting on his guidance, direction, answered prayer.
While waiting we go through so many different phases. At first we question "WHY" something
happened? How it happened? What could I have done differently to change the out come? Many times we are saddened by the situation. At times angry. Other times just at a lose for words.
I know during some of these seasons in my life I have cried out to God - Why must I wait Lord. If the situation isn't ever going to change - please Lord, release me. Bring me to something new or at least remove the PAIN...... You all know what I'm talking about. We have all been there.
BUT - then there are times when you have waited and waited and you get one small glimmer of hope! One glimpse of the Lord moving and working in your situation. You still don't know the final outcome.
You still don't know that he will answer yes.
Romans 8:28
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
Today I can honestly say that God has me in "AWE" mode just knowing that he loves his Sons and Daughters in such an amazing way that he truely is working together for each and every one of his children to bring us to that place of total dependency upon him and the realization that I don't want my own way any longer. My desire has become his desire. I always thought that I couldn't give up control of my life - what if he would never give me what my heart truly wanted!
What peace I have this day knowing that I now desire his way far above my own and it is so
simple. ALL OF A SUDDEN - He is filling my heart with bliss as I see him directing my path and keeping it brightly lit as I seek him with my whole heart!
Be blessed regardless of your circumstance!!!

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6

True Love is on my heart this morning. Many homes have been broken by divorce.
What actually lead to the divorce? Was it adultery? Financial problems? Boredom? Not getting what you deserved?

The marriage union has been a deep prayer of mine for quiet some time now. I watch loved ones struggle to actually love each other. I watch them become angry with one another and desire the OTHER PERSON to change and become WHAT THEY DESIRE. I've watched them tell one another how they DO EVERYTHING and it would be nice if their spouse would at least DO SOMETHING. My heart cries out to see TRUE BIBLICAL MARRIAGE.

So - I search the scriptures. I search for what our Lord says about marriage. There lies the answer! All we have to do is walk with the Lord. Its that simple. By walking with our Savior we become that DESIRABLE SPOUSE. We become the other person's EVERYTHING!

Love isn't touchy: 1 Corinthians 13:5 says that Love does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it (pays no attention to a suffered wrong)....WOW. So what do we need? We need God's love in us in order to not be TOUCHY... Right? So by starting our day with our sweet sweet Lord will equip us to be his vessel. He will keep us "sweetened up" and full of confidence.
The more we discover the Lords kindness and gentleness the more we become BUILT UP and strengthened by his spirit to be like Christ.

I am certain God's heart desires the marriage union on earth to be an example to the lost world of his great love for his church. How much could "GODLY MARRIAGES" change our world? I believe it would astound the world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Psalm 86:11 is what I ask the Lord to give me - Teach me your way, O Lord, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart....

I may not be married at the moment. BUT - I so desire that God create in me a heart of Christ that when he brings the Man of God into my life....I will be a bride that
represents his church. A bride that is not touchy and self seeking but rather one that desires to SERVE and SUBMIT to an amazing man of God.

If both can ever come to the realization that their marriage is joined together by God and for God's devine purpose... Oh, how their lives would flourish!

Praying for the many marriages to be restored and renewed by God's grace.....

God Bless,

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Learning to Stand and lean at the same time?

One of the hardest lessons I have had to learn is how to stand in faith? Trusting that God
has his best for me at all times.

When I went through a divorce 5 years ago I couldn't see how any of that horrible nightmare
could have any good in it whatsoever. How could my family falling apart be good? How
could my children hurting be good?
How could such an angry person (ME) ever soften her heart ever again?

Looking back on the past 5 years I still have memories that try and haunt me. BUT - I now
realize that many of the hard times I've experienced in this life of mine have been due to
my lack of faith and yes - usually disobedience to GOD'S WAY. I believe the word of God when
he says " He will always provide a way of escape"...... There is always that way - but the choice
is ours to walk through his door or continue on our own path of destruction.

The difference in my today trials you may ask? Oh my - the difference is the trust that I have in my
Savior. I now can say with assurity that my trust lies only in Christ Jesus as my Savior. There is nothing
I can do on my own to gain his love any more than what I did in the past could cause him to NOT LOVE ME!

I'm learning 1 Corinthians 2:5 - that your faith might not rest in the wisdom of men, but in the power of God.
and also learning James 1:3 - to be assured and understand that the trial and proving of your faith bring out endurance and steadfastness and patience.

Hebrews 11:1 - Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen..... Now I have had to struggle with this one. Making my faith BE THAT SUBSTANCE in place of the things hoped for. Knowing that my faith is in God....... Knowing that he is working ALL THINGS TOGETHER FOR MY GOOD!

I had a dear sweet friend in my life continually tell me that if we know that we know that God is for us and has only good intentions toward us, has and wants only his best for us - how can we not rest in that and have peace! I so agree with them today.

Before I struggled thinking - how can you have peace when your heart is broken? How can you have peace when you have a disease that threatens to take your life or a family members life? How can you have peace when you have no job and can't see one in sight? This is when I have learned to LEAN.....................

That is how I stand! I stand in faith because of the strong arm of my Lord... He calls me to come to him - those who are heavy laden and need rest! Then we can know as Colossians 2:5 states = For though I am absent in the flesh, yet I am with you in spirit ( HE IS WITH ME) rejoicing to see your good order and the steadfastness of your faith in Christ. That keeps me STANDING.. .Standing on his word, his promises and trusting that he is leading and guiding me each and every day. I only have THIS DAY!

So for today.... I will stand as I lean upon my Holy Lord and my prayer is that my life is pleasing to him for today and that I can say with confidence as Galatians 2:20 says... I have been crucified with Christ, it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by Faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me. No longer the old Holly -
I can wake each morning (Lord willing) and grant him total control and authority over my life *****BY FAITH!!!!! :)

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Where would I go?

Today I was having one of those day?
I'm sure many of you know what I'm talking about - well, especially most
One of those days where you mind just wanders and ponders on so many different thoughts, memories, mistakes, regrets.... You know - when the enemy starts feeding
your thought process with:

You really messed up in the past - so bad that you actually don't deserve the blessings of the Lord.
Is living for God really gotten you anywhere?
You always run to God when the world rejects you?
Even a Godly man didn't want you Holly?
YOU KNOW - yeap, ONE OF THOSE DAYS..................... BUT THEN
( Oh yeah, big smile)....... My Lord stepped in.

For when we let the words of our mouth and the meditations of our heart be acceptable
in the Lord's sight - he is our strength and our redeamer.... YOU BETCHA !
The words of Satan begin to fade quickly!

Greater is he that is IN ME - than he that is in the word...... I started to let him have it.

I agreed with Satan to a point.
Yes - I messed up in the past!
Yes - I did turn to the Lord when the world hurt me!
Yes - Even a Godly man chose to walk in a new direction instead of allow me
to control my own life instead of relying on God to direct my path!

Does any of that mean that I am not the daughter of the King. NO. My Father chose
me to serve him and he is perfecting me DAILY!

Because of his great loved me and for you - he sent his Son to die for our sins.

I pictured Jesus today speaking to his disciples and some could not handle the hard words that
he spoke in the temple and they turned and left him on that day. He looked at the remaining
disciples and said " will you leave to?" Peter said - Where would we go?

Isn't that what we all have to cry out? I know that I have no other place to turn - nor do I want to turn in any direction other than to the CROSS! No one on this earth has anything to offer me that can replace that kind of love.

Where would you go?

I pray no other place than to the CROSS...................................

Tuesday, November 24, 2009



1Chronicles 16:34 Oh, give thanks to the LORD, for He is good! For His mercy endures forever.

It is that time of the year when we are all busy getting the turkey and all the trimmings, Decorating our homes, etc. With all the hustle and bustle of the holiday seasons it can be so easy to get so busy to forget what this time of year should represent. THANKFULNESS! I have
been meditating on that very word. What does it mean in my heart?

Thankful for salvation. For the Lord's mercy in my life as written above " That it ENDURES
FOREVER....... That this life is just preparation for an eternity with the Lord.

2Corinthians 9:15 Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift! That's how I feel today.

We can't even begin to fathom this gift. We love our families. We love to give them gifts. But how great is our Father's love for us..... The gift of his precious Son. I feel that I can't begin to THANK HIM ENOUGH! How do I thank him? I want to thank him through my actions. My praise. My worship. My service toward others. My submission to his ways above my own.

He has blessed my life in so many indescribable ways. Health, loved ones, precious Grand children, precious friendships. One gift he blessed me with was a relationship with a Godly Man. This man showed me through his character a way of daily life. I didn't value his leadership or his lifestyle, but thank God that he used this man in my life to plant the seed. The seed that is now rooted and GROWING! I wanted to focus on the hurt of him walking away. I am now focusing on the good that God brought to my spirit THROUGH the time spent with this man. The talks, the walks and yes even the disagreements when I wanted MY WAY...... God loved me enough to allow me to lose him in order to value him.

I'm thankful today for his PEACE - JOY - REST....... Regardless of our circumstance - WE ARE BLESSED! Period.

Ephesians 5:20 giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ

I would have nothing and I am nothing with out God. Without his love of sending his precious Son to die for my sin and rebellion. I never want to live a day without THANKING GOD!

So this Thursday when we are enjoying our families (missing those that aren't there) and having a wonderful meal. Lets not forget the most important place to give honor. Our precious Savior. Thankful always for his mercies and grace! REGARDLESS of what we see with the natural eye - because he is working for our good and perfecting us to be like him each and every day that we place our heart in his hands!

Monday, November 23, 2009


Narrow is the Way

Doesn't it seem like so very many people are having such a tough time knowing which way to turn? I can't begin to count how many of my friends (including myself many days) are crying out to God for his direction or his "perfect will" for their lives.So many times I believe he has practically thrown me in the middle of his perfect will and I still questioned it? Many times we walk in fear of the "what if world" and miss his timing........then we have to learn through periods of testing that we should have just trusted in him to meet us there - the old saying "JUST DO IT" is what I feel he is speaking at times or at least "Just do something"............... Its like the man that went and buried his talent - because of why? He was fearful.... God is always calling us to be active - not a bench warmer!It has only been through many trials and testings in my own life that I believe I'm finally beginning to know what God's perfect will is.

I believe that if we focus our entire being on this one truth, that roads and doors will begin to open in which God desires to be open. Here is the truth: If I love the Lord my God with all of my heart, soul and body - first and foremost. Then my heart desires his ways above my own ways. His truth above my feelings. His plan, even if it isn't lining up with my hopes for TODAY! For I know if I trust in him - all things will work together for my good - Why? BECAUSE I LOVE HIM WITH MY WHOLE HEART!Psalm 31:23-24 Love the LORD, all his saints! The LORD preserves the faithful, but the proud he pays back in full. BE STRONG AND TAKE HEART, all you who HOPE IN THE LORD................What does that tell me.... MY HOPE MUST ALWAYS REMAIN IN HIM.... not in my plans, my dreams, my thoughts.... BUT IN HIM AND HIM ALONE!

God's word promises in Isaiah 58:11 And the LORD shall guide thee continually, and satisfy thy soul in drought, and make fat thy bones: and thou shalt be like a watered garden, and like a spring of water, whose waters fail not.God loves us. He desires to bless our lives. Not harm us. Joshua 1:9 tells us to be strong and of good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee wherever thou goest. I know that I get fretful and discouraged when I am not putting my trust in his perfectness......Isaiah 26:3 Promises me that he will keep me in perfect PEACE, whose mind is stayed on thee: Because why? Because he trusteth in thee!
I have decided I'm a very slow I am now 45 years old and it took this long for the light bulb to shine on top of the ole head..... :) But praise God his Holy Spirit chose me - and removed the veil from my eyes - opened my ears to hear him - my heart to know him. His word is alive.... It leads and guides us. It promises to strengthen us in all our difficulties. In Jeremiah 1:5 he tells us that he formed us in the womb, knew us before we were even born and had already sanctified us.............HOW AMAZING IS THAT KIND OF LOVE....UNCONDITIONAL.

How can I not love him with my WHOLE HEART BACK? I must!
I have always said " I love God - I trust God"...... but this scripture speaks volumes to me today:1 John 3:18 Dear children let us not love with words or tongue but with action and in truth.How true is this scripture for my life. I can now in his perfect love. for Psalms 121:3 tells me that he will not let your foot slip, he who watches over you will not slumber. So in the end: I can trust that even though I make plans and have hopes and dreams.

I still say" If the Lord wills".Proverbs 16:9 A Man's mind plans his ways, but the Lord directs his steps and makes them sure.I can trust that if I make my plan and it is centered on God as my reasoning...... He is sure to bless that plan or cause the change in plan that will bring about his good! Nothing can thwart God's plan.... How reassuring is that? To me it causes peace! Trust! An ever present help when I am struggling to understand, not understanding what I know in my heart but I don't see it with my eyes! Its all okay. Why? Because I trust my Lord and Savior. He is in complete authority over my life and as long as he is on the throne... I do not fear tomorrow. I do not fear taking the wrong path and getting off the narrow road......

Isaiah 30:21 “And your ears will hear a word behind you, ‘This is the way, walk in it,’ whenever you turn to the right or to the left

Wednesday, November 18, 2009


I have come to realize over the years that its not whats on the outside that matters at all.......

It has taken many years to hear what the Lord thinks of me.

When I was a young girl I always wanted to be more like my Brother. My Parents would always say "why can't you be like your Brother"! So I always tried to dress like a boy and not comb my hair and act more like a tom boy......

Then as I got older my Dad would introduce me as "The mean one".......... So needless to say - I tried to be what my Dad thought I was. Somehow in my mind I felt if I acted the way he expected me to - that it pleased him and I made him proud of me.

Then came the High School years. I finally became a girly girl (lol) and got noticed for being pretty. Then I believed that this is what made people like me. So I continued to strive at being skinny enough, pretty enough. I ended up being voted the prettiest at my school but always felt fat and ugly. I drank very often just so I could be more out going and what I considered to be the person I could never be on my own. What lies Satan can get us to believe just so we are constantly striving to fix ourselves when there is nothing we can do in our own strength to correct the "uglies" in our hearts. They just keep getting larger and larger the harder we try to do it on our own.

Today - the beauty on the outside has faded - the skinny/perfect body is no longer. But something has happened to me that can never compare to any beauty on the outside! I finally realize, believe and TRUST in God's perfect love for me. He loves me just the way I am. Even knowing all the JUNK....................................................I discovered AMAZING GRACE.

I no longer care about what the world determines is beautiful. The only beauty I'm concerned with these days is what God has created in my heart. I'm not that "ugly" girl that was voted most beautiful. I could very well be considered the girl thats so so to the world - But I'm praying I'm

beautiful in God's eyes. That he looks at me and says "who I am is quit enough"........Because of Jesus Christ - I'm worthy of Love.....I'm now beautiful! It doesn't matter what the world calls you - It doesn't matter what you've done - It doesn't even matter what you were raised believing you were..............The only thing that matters is what God is doing in our hearts.

My heart must be so lost in God - that a man must seek him with his whole heart in order to find me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

God blessed my broken road. He came searching for me and praise God I AM FOUND!

Friday, October 23, 2009

I still Cry.....................................


I still cry
when I think of how you love me
and I struggle in the darkness
even when its hard to try

And on some days - that seem to never end
I'm consumed with all the pain
and my struggles deep within

Its then you speak to me
that your always in control
you have good plans in store
that some day I truly see

How your Love
Is my shelter in the storm
it descends upon my heart
from your heavens up above

Its then on my knees
that I find your strength within
all my doubts and fears
begin to fanish and to flee

And then I cry
not for pity for myself
but to think you loved me so
to pay the price for me and die

Oh Sweet Jesus - never let me go
Help me walk with you each day
I'm so in love with you
from the depths of my soul

And through my cries
they are tears of joy this day
I no longer walk in shame
for with you the old me dies

For you see my tears
but they are tears for what you've done
even when I walked alone
you sent your one and only Son..........................................

God woke me this morning with this song on my lips..... I woke up singing " I STILL CRY".......
feeling that my heart still aches in many ways for many sorrows......................but in the end
I still cry for the most amazing grace I have ever discovered....................
I will never understand how or why.
But I do know this truth.
GOD LOVES YOU AND I more than we will ever be able to comprehend!

Thursday, October 22, 2009



Isn't it funny how God uses things in our lives to bring revelation?

I was seeking the Lord this morning during my quiet time and thanking
him for his grace and mercies that are new each and every morning.

Thanking him for revealing himself to me in a fresh and new way that only
his Holy Spirit can.................
I have been in one of those storms of life. When our emotions toss us to and fro.
When we end up walking in what we are feeling instead of walking in what is TRUE!

I am finding that if we run to the Lord...................fall at his feet and allow him
to take all of our cares and burdens. WHAT PEACE... WHAT AMAZING PEACE that brings.
He wants to care for us. He desires that we love him first and foremost above all else that
this world has to offer. I was so struggling with having hope for an outcome in a recent
lost relationship... My hope was wrapped up in that ONE DESIRE..............God has been
so patient and gentle in allowing me time to see that my HOPE IS IN HIM.... ALONE!

Driving in to work I was struke with this realization! We thank God for the sunny days - for
the blessings in life. When things are just falling right in to place and all is well.
What about the rain?
What about the storms?
I'm thanking God today for the storms he has allowed. The testing he himself has allowed.
and the rain.......................Oh Lord thank you for the rain! Its in my storm that his love
has poured in on my heart more than I could ever have imagined!
Thank you God for the cross..... Thank you Lord for loving me so much that you sent your
Son to die for my sin. That when you look at me - you don't see the mess - you don't see the
selfishness - YOU SEE YOUR SON!
Today I can thankfully see your love and be thankful for this season that you are allowing me
to take a step of faith. a step in growth. a step in trust.

I just thank you Lord for the RAIN!

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Letting Go and Letting God!

Letting Go and Letting God

** picture taken on my Alpha retreat**

The good Lord knew I would reflect back on this photo and

have an image of his beauty and peace that he has brought to my life!

I'm sure many of you have been where I am at. When God has brought you to a place

of knowing that you control NOTHING in your life. PERIOD.

This is such a hard place and yet a wonderful place once you finally figure out that

by letting go.................God can finally do something on your behalf!

WHAT PEACE that surpasses all understanding.

To be at the place where I can finally believe the following words of the Lord:

2nd Corinthians 12:9

My grace is sufficient for you.. for my power is made perfect in WEAKNESS..

Isaiah 43:19

For I am about to do something new, See, I have already begun! Do you not see!

Habakkuh 1:5

For I am doing something in your own day. Something you wouldn't believe even if someone told you about it.

1 Peter 5:6

So humble yourself under the might power of God and at the right time - he will lift you up to honor.

When you can say with all honesty and humility: Lord I have a problem - and its ME!

To finally come to the realization that you must be more concerned with your character than your reputation. For our character is what we really are and our reputation is merely what others think we are! WHAT TRUTH!

I know that there must be many woman that need healing in their hearts.

I want to share my testimony in hopes that it may help someone else see how great is our God!

My journey began when I was 10 years old. Thats when I first met the Lord. I was a church bus ministry child. My parents did not attend church yet. Once I got saved they started attending and became christians as well.

I got married at the age of 18 to my High School sweetheart. We had two children together and I thought - had a white picket fence life.

Our marriage lasted 22 years. The last 5 of those years were very very hard. Sin came in to our marriage through adultry,lies, anger, bitterness.......................I think every sin possible was committed toward one another, all while attending church. Blame goes to both sides of that fence.

We eventually divorced and went our seperate ways. What a devastating effect this had on our family and is still affecting them today!

God finally brought the man of my dreams into my life and my heart was still so strong willed and stubborn from my past that I ended up not realizing what a treasure the Lord had blessed me with. My stubborn rebellion caused my relation to end. I do believe that God used this tragedy in order to bring me to the place of COMPLETE AND UTTER BROKENESS.

I can honestly picture myself as the woman drying her tears from Jesus' feet with her hair! I have thrown myself at the feet of JESUS for sure. Praise God he has held out his arms and just loved me. He loved me enough to allow me to be broken. Now he can mold me into his image. HOW GREAT IS THAT. Now I can become a daughter of Sarah. My heart can become CHRIST LIKE. Only when I realize my desperate need for the Lord each and every day of my life is when he can actually speak into my heart and direct my path!

I know that there are woman out there hurting. God desires all to be whole.

He wants to give us the desires of our heart.... It all begins when we first begin to
desire his ways and his perfect will.....................................

Romans 5:4 More than that. We rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that our sufferings produce endurance, and endurance produces character and character produces hope and hope does not put to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given us. For while we were still weak, Christ died for the ungodly.

A work in progress!!!!!!!!!!!!! and thanking God for it.........................................