I have come to realize over the years that its not whats on the outside that matters at all.......
It has taken many years to hear what the Lord thinks of me.
When I was a young girl I always wanted to be more like my Brother. My Parents would always say "why can't you be like your Brother"! So I always tried to dress like a boy and not comb my hair and act more like a tom boy......
Then as I got older my Dad would introduce me as "The mean one".......... So needless to say - I tried to be what my Dad thought I was. Somehow in my mind I felt if I acted the way he expected me to - that it pleased him and I made him proud of me.
Then came the High School years. I finally became a girly girl (lol) and got noticed for being pretty. Then I believed that this is what made people like me. So I continued to strive at being skinny enough, pretty enough. I ended up being voted the prettiest at my school but always felt fat and ugly. I drank very often just so I could be more out going and what I considered to be the person I could never be on my own. What lies Satan can get us to believe just so we are constantly striving to fix ourselves when there is nothing we can do in our own strength to correct the "uglies" in our hearts. They just keep getting larger and larger the harder we try to do it on our own.
Today - the beauty on the outside has faded - the skinny/perfect body is no longer. But something has happened to me that can never compare to any beauty on the outside! I finally realize, believe and TRUST in God's perfect love for me. He loves me just the way I am. Even knowing all the JUNK....................................................I discovered AMAZING GRACE.
I no longer care about what the world determines is beautiful. The only beauty I'm concerned with these days is what God has created in my heart. I'm not that "ugly" girl that was voted most beautiful. I could very well be considered the girl thats so so to the world - But I'm praying I'm
beautiful in God's eyes. That he looks at me and says "who I am is quit enough"........Because of Jesus Christ - I'm worthy of Love.....I'm now beautiful! It doesn't matter what the world calls you - It doesn't matter what you've done - It doesn't even matter what you were raised believing you were..............The only thing that matters is what God is doing in our hearts.
My heart must be so lost in God - that a man must seek him with his whole heart in order to find me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
God blessed my broken road. He came searching for me and praise God I AM FOUND!