When we grow weary of doing or being good

Where do I begin!  It's been over two years since I have tried to sit down and write out my thoughts or speak about the things of God.  Seems I took a huge detour in life and took a path with many ditches and pebbles that stone bruised not only the feet but heart.  I believe that God loves us so deeply that he wants to protect us from pain and sorrow.  His Holy Spirit was sent here to warn us of the sharp curve coming our way that we just can't see yet on the highway of life.  Yet we still choose to act as if we know the right path.  Even if we've never been in this territory before.   Then we want to cry out in anger and rage when things go crazy or not what we had dreamed it would be?   How crazy is that?  It's like a child being angry that they didn't listen to their parents and chose to disobey them suffering a huge consequence of their own choice!  The parents loved them enough to say no.  Loved them enough to try and show them a different path and yet they chose their own way.  Isn't that just like you and I at times?

Today I cried out to God in anger.   Why God. Why should I do good or be good.  What has it served me.  People still hurt you and don't care that you give of yourself. 

Yet this is what he says:

Never tire of doing what is right. 2 Thessalonians 3:13

Or

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9

I close this day ashamed and repentful .  Was Jesus angry at his Father when he hung on the cross for my sin😓

NO.  he cried out Father. Forgive them.   For they know not what they do.  

So I go to bed this evening crying out Father. Forgive me for my sin and selfish heart. Forgive me for when I hold others accountable and yet release myself from judgement. You are a good and Holy God. Help me to obey and honor your word and remember the words written about your Son. My savior that took my place of judgement that I so deserve.

Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. Hebrews 12:3

Help me love even when I'm not loved in return. Help me give more even when others don't give. Help me serve. Even when I feel slighted.  Help me see Christ and his will. NOT MY OWN. 

Help me to COUNT IT ALL JOY EVEN WHEN TRIALS COME!

In Jesus name I pray.  Amen and amen.  

In Christ,

Holly